Kindness, not cancer

I was all prepared today to write a blog post about the evils of the cancer industry- starting with the work of Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, who discovered something called “antineoplastin therapy”- and used it to cure cancer. The FDA forced him into a hearing, where many of Dr. Burzynski’s patients testified that he did, indeed, cure them. And what was the FDA’s response? To hound him with lawsuits until he stopped practicing. This is true- despite what Google says about his “dangerous and unproven treatments that fly in the face of proven science.”

But do you know what is more important than talking about the evils of this world? Talking about the kindness of this world instead.

We’re all hurting right now. Some of us are going through unspeakable trials- from troubles with family, to self-worth problems, to body image issues, to financial woes, every one of us is dealing with a lot, and if any of you are like me, it’s more important than ever to be kind. But not just kind to each other; to ourselves.

This is an area I admittedly struggle with. I have a perfectionism problem, and I have had this issue my entire adult life. There is a fantastic book about soul wounds by Lisa Bourbeau called “Heal Your Wounds & Find Your True Self: Finally, a Book That Explains Why It’s So Hard Being Yourself!” and it discusses five different soul wounds we receive as children and must heal as an adult. I would like to display, with honesty, the soul wound that I had my whole life, and that I healed only recently.

I borrowed this from a website called LightCentre.com;

“The wound? Injustice. The mask? Rigidity. My greatest fear? Coldness. My greatest need? Freedom.

Awakening of the wound

The Wound of Injustice awakens in the child roughly between the ages of 4 and 6, when he becomes aware of his individuality and his differences.

Several origins are possible:

Parental Coldness: The child can feel coldness from the same-sex parent. This parent seems too critical, severe, demanding for him to allow himself to be himself.

The obligation to follow a model: young, the child had to follow the example of the big brother, the big sister, a cousin. His parents often cited the person as an example for his qualities, expecting him to be the same. This parent was putting enormous pressure on the child. While this one, internally, wanted to exist and be appreciated for what he was deep down.

Emotional repression: an impossibility to express one’s sensitivity without being judged, pointed out and punished.

You would have understood it…

This feeling of injustice is built up if the child has not felt free to be himself and to express himself as a unique individual! His parents did not encourage, facilitate, or even accept his personality.

It is for this child deeply unfair that he cannot be himself

The child retains the impression of having been wronged, a victim of difference with this parent in particular.

And also the impression of not being recognized and appreciated at its fair value. He realizes that people appreciate him more for what he does than for who he is.

He hides his wound behind a rigidity and a demand for perfection by protecting himself from what makes him suffer. He creates protection for himself each time he is confronted with this wound. Lise Bourbeau talks about this protection as the RIGID mask.

A wound of injustice always follows a wound of rejection

Recognizing the Rigid 

People whose wound of injustice is often activated have common characteristics. All of these attitudes are not true all the time, only when the wound of injustice is triggered.

Perhaps you will find yourself in many of them…

Your biggest fears

– Being COLD: your greatest fear is coldness. You find it difficult to accept it in yourself and in others. Besides, you are convinced that you are a warm person.

– Fear of MISLEADING: you resent being wrong and making mistakes. You are doing yourself an injustice.

Your RIGID Personality

– SENSITIVITY:
You are very sensitive. Yet others feel that you are cold and insensitive

– Will of JUSTICE:

You seek justice and what seems right to you. You only take into account your values and your criteria. Only, you have to understand that they are not universal.

And justice, for you, is perfection. Your ideal is to aim for the best, the right, the correct. You can also appear controlling. Yet deep down, far from wanting to control others, you want to make sure it’s fair for everyone. Attracted to all things noble, you can easily be impressed by social status or a place of honor.

– PERFECTIONISM

You want to be appreciated for what you do. This explains your perfectionist and competitive spirit, but also your doubts when faced with choices. Your perfectionism means that you often lack time for your projects. You can also start a lot of projects but you get too scattered trying to be too perfect. You are a good burnout candidate.

– STORAGE

You like everything to be tidy, serialized, categorized. This desire for tidiness and order can sometimes even lead to obsession.

– RIGIDITY: you confuse discipline with rigidity. Know that discipline achieves a specific goal

But you, you focus above all on the means used to achieve this goal. For example, you can decide to exercise at the gym once a week.

What’s the problem?

Well, if you’re feeling out of sorts that day, you’re able to force yourself to go just to stick to the plan you’ve put in place…even if it’s not the wisest thing for you.

– MERIT: you need to feel worthy of what you receive. If there is no reason to get something, you can even unconsciously make sure you lose it. You find it difficult to relax without feeling guilty.

– LIMITS

It is difficult for you to know and respect your limits. Your perfectionist side is such that you rarely ask for help. You sometimes go so far as to exhaust yourself so much that you don’t listen to yourself. Watch out for burnout!!!

Your Relationships

– SHARING

Your desire for justice is such that you want everything to be equitably distributed. Otherwise it’s not fair.

– SENSITIVITY

Above all, you avoid being affected by others. You often hide your emotion behind irrelevant laughter or derision rather than acknowledging your sensitivity. It is difficult for you to indulge in feelings and receiving. In this regard, you generally pass for a cold and unloving person.

– AUTHORITY

You fear authority because as a child you learned that authority was always right. Despite this, when a situation seems right to you, you “step up to the front” and dare to defend what seems right to you.

– ENVY And ANGER

You may feel a lot of cravings. The most common emotion is anger. Anger most often towards yourself when you make mistakes or when attacking others.

– HYPER CONTROL

In love, it is difficult for you to let go, to feel pleasure and to express your feelings.

Your STIFF Physique

– STIFFNESS

In general, your body is straight, stiff and well-proportioned. If you are overweight, your pounds are evenly distributed. Your desire for perfection drives you to want the most perfect body possible.

You tend to have a closed attitude by crossing your arms.

Your gestures are rigid and without much flexibility.

– HEALTH

Although stressful, you are rarely sick.

Not that you have no symptoms, but you are very demanding with your body, and rarely respect your limits. You only go to the doctor as a last resort, when you are at your worst. And it’s a pride for you!”

All of this applies to me. All of it has hamstrung my adult life. It was a long road to letting it all go.

How have I cured my rigidity soul wound? By being kind to myself. By allowing my house to be a mess. By shrugging when I don’t make perfect food choices every day, because at least when I slack off, it’s with seven dollar coconut sugar organic chocolate, or something similar. By not expecting perfection of myself. By reminding myself that due to what I’ve been through, I can be cold, so I go out of my way to remember I’m not the only one going through traumatic experiences. By slowing down on the forcing myself to do the workouts EVERY day. By allowing myself to be human.

Remind yourself to be kind to yourselves, people. Speak nicely to yourselves. Words have power. Be your own best friend. Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you will never escape, so you might as well learn to heal what’s hurt you. I highly recommend that book, by the way. We all have soul wounds- and they all have to be healed.

I have no idea what I’ll write about next. We’ll see what inspiration strikes.